The 2023 Tramping Calendar Haiku and Limerick Competition – Chapter 4

  • This topic has 29 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 1 week, 2 days ago by Lance Wood.
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  • #55791 Reply
    Tony Gazley

    Winchcombe Biv

    Tramping NZ

    Haiku and Limerick Competition

    by Harry Smith

    2023 Tramping NZ calendars now available at Bivouac Outdoor, Mercer Street
    $20 (cash only please)

    Chapter 4

    Competition rules

    All entries should be posted as comments to this forum post, so that everybody can read and enjoy them. Make sure to mention which month’s photo they refer to.

    You can enter as many limericks and haikus for as many of the monthly photos as you want.

    Entries close in mid-November and the winners will be announced at the beginning of December.

    The competition will be judged by Tony and Harry.

    The judges will take into account the following factors (among others) in making their decision
    – relevance to the photo
    – rhythm and rhyme (for a limerick)
    – rhythm, syllable count, concision, and precision (for a haiku)
    – humour, wit, cleverness, irony, sarcasm, etc (for a limerick)
    – mood, atmosphere, imagery, reflectiveness, and thoughtfulness (for a haiku).

    Bribes to the judges are permitted, and indeed encouraged, especially if they consist of money, tramping gear, camera gear, alcohol, or chocolate. There is no guarantee that they will have any influence on the judges’ decision, but it’s worth a try!

    The judges’ decision will be final, and no correspondence will be entered into (except if accompanied by a bribe, as described above).

    The First Place and Second Place winners will each receive a free copy of the calendar. These will look good proudly hanging on your wall.

    Other people can of course purchase copies of the calendar from Bivouac in Mercer Street, for $20 (cash only please). They will of course make excellent Christmas presents.

    The end.

    Calendar photos













    Calendar photos printed size 36 cm x 24 cm. A preview copy of the whole calendar is available at:

    • This topic was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by Tony Gazley.
    • This topic was modified 1 month, 3 weeks ago by Tony Gazley.
    #55820 Reply
    Laramie Penstock

    You do not love the daylight –
    Now darkness threatens.

    My entry for July photo.
    Laramie (not yet a WTMC member)

    #55893 Reply
    Laramie Penstock

    Here’s my next one – for the August calendar photo of Taranaki Maunga:

    There was a young tramper named Scott
    Who thought he was really sh*t hot
    But one day he tried
    To climb the south-facing side
    And he suddenly found that he’s not.

    #55897 Reply

    In case anybody is wondering about Laramie’s reference to Mephistopheles, that’s the name of the peak which the July photo was taken from. You can see the labels of the photos by clicking on the link to the preview copy of the calendar above.

    #55910 Reply
    Laramie Penstock

    And one for the February calendar photo:

    To get your name in this calendar blog
    You should climb to the top of Magog
    Then you’ll be the top dog
    And can start your own vlog
    But to get there will be a slog thru the bog.

    By Laramie.

    #55928 Reply
    Laramie Penstock

    I keep dreaming about these damn limericks, and prob will until I’ve done one for every photo! So now here’s one for the September Winchcombe Biv.

    The door to the biv is so small
    Or maybe the tramper’s too tall
    So they won’t get inside
    However they tried
    Until they’re down on all fours and crawl.

    Now I’m trying not to think of the next one which only makes me think about the next one.

    #55929 Reply
    Mr Trogg

    To get your name in this calendar blog
    You should climb to the top of Magog
    Then you’ll be the top dog
    And can start your own vlog
    But to get there will be a slog thru the bog.

    I protest! This is a clear case of plagiarism from my comment on the Gog and Magog story earlier in this forum! There I wrote:
    “An interesting log of a slog through the bog to climb Gog and Magog. I’m agog.” The similarity is unmistakable! My lawyer will be in touch!

    But anyway, I reckon this is better:

    Stewart Island has Gog and Magog.
    A trip there can be quite a slog.
    There’s a bog and a bog
    and a bog and a bog
    and a bog and a bog and a bog.

    #55934 Reply
    Laramie Penstock

    Dear Mr Trogg

    With all due respect, anyone with a basic understanding of statistics would realise that there are limited grammatical combinations of ‘bog, Magog, agog and slog’ that are available for the construction of a limerick. Your claim is not plagiarism, but is rather an example of ‘cum hoc ergo propter hoc’, (i.e. a questionable-cause logical fallacy). No court would uphold your protest. So don’t bother with the lawyers.

    Kind Regards
    Laramie Penstock, Colonel WAAF (retd)

    #55973 Reply
    Austin Healey

    Rather than compose a limerick for each of the photos I’m going to do one for the whole lot. So here goes:

    Tony’s photos of grand mountain views
    Are sure to cure week-a-day blues
    So go get one now
    Bivouac shows you how
    For 20 quid you’ve got nowt you can lose.


    #56174 Reply
    Misunderstood Cockney Heavy

    Nice one Mr Healey Guv. I reck’n that there lim’rk’s real quiche Lorraine. And I couldn’t ‘elp noticing that “quid”. You ain’t from the East End are you Guv? Or maybe up north somewhere wiv that “nowt”? Anyway, ‘ow do ya like smashin’ up vases? I reck’n Tony might be able to find a job for you in his organization if you’re interested.

    An’ that reminds me. I’ve come up wiv one of them ‘aiku things meself. It’s about Mr Gazley’s pretty calendar and it goes like this:

    A nice calendar –
    you can put it on the wall
    where them vases was.

    #56677 Reply
    Lance Wood

    Hi Tony and Harry, here’s an entry for the May photo of the Rangipo Desert

    In this strange desert
    parched dunes look with envy at
    Ruapehu’s snows


    p.s. Misunderstood Cockney Heavy is great!

    #56811 Reply
    Tony Gazley

    Good morning Lance

    Thank you very much for your haiku entry into the 2023 Tramping Calendar Haiku and Limerick Competition.
    We have been delighted with the high standard of the many entries we have received so far, and yours is no exception.

    However, we do remind you that copies of the 2023 Tramping NZ Calendar are readily available from Bivouac Outdoor in Mercer Street for $20 cash. You may wish to purchase your copies now to avoid disappointment when you fail to win first or second prize in the competition.

    Thanks again


    #56822 Reply
    Misunderstood Cockney Heavy

    Why, thank you very much, Lance. That’s very kind of you – it’s real quiche Lorraine. An’ I reck’n that there ‘aiku of yours is real nice. Though I can’t ‘elp noticing that contrary to wot you say in the last line, there ain’t too much actual snow on that there mountain in that photo for May, but I guess that’s what they call Poetic Lie.

    You know wot, Squire? Wiv nice compliments like that, I reck’n you could actually win that free calendar in this here contest. I’ll just ‘ave a word wiv Mr Gazley an’ see wot we can do. Of course, it might ‘elp your chances if you slip us a nice bribe or two, like it says in them rules up above.

    #56974 Reply
    Rangipo Red

    Give me the desert;
    away from the ski bunnies
    it’s a trampers’ land.

            - Rangipo Red
    #57016 Reply
    Marsha Mellow

    A landscape of ash
    harsh and beautifully wild.


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