The Nature of Things – December 2012

Dear Santa,

I swear I’ve been good this year. Don’t eat that dehy meal I’ve left out for you too quickly or you’ll get indigestion. It’s not compulsory but you may want to add hot water to it. Jug is on the left hand side of the bench just flick the switch.  Also, I would have left you a beer but we have a policy of not allowing alcohol on Club trips unless the Chief Guide gives permission. I’m sure I sent the Chief Guide an email requesting permission but have not had a reply so far. Enough of the small talk, here is my Xmas list:

Promotions Officer x 1 but I’ll take >1 if you have a few spares.

  1. Chief Guide x 1. Latter must be able to replace Amanda who is irreplaceable.
  2. Good snow base at Ruapehu July through till September. As you are used to conditions in the North Pole I should probably explain, would be happy with at least 5cm of the white stuff covering all the sharpest rocks. Skiers would probably like a bit more but living here they are used to making do with a base that would do an Italian Pizza maker proud.
  3. 50% more sunshine hours during the weekends in the Ruahines and Wellington.
  4. 33% less precipitation and a 50% reduction in wind speed in the Tararuas. (Just threw 4 and 5 in to show that I know how to keep my requests specific and realistic!)
  5. Active new members – the kind whose contribution to the Club matches what they take away. I’ll take as many of these as you can stuff down my chimney, any that don’t fit down the chimney can be stacked neatly on the deck outside.
  6. More van drivers. Preferably with current driver licences and used to driving on the left hand side of the road.
  7. Good attendance at Club nights. You may have to talk to the tv programmers to help with this, maybe get Coro St moved back half an hour or order up reruns of NZ’s Got Talent.
  8. Large, well maintained helicopter. I don’t have a colour preference.

10. Patience. If you could give this priority I’ll be able to wait a bit for the other 9.

Hope you get what you want this Xmas. Have a happy and safe holiday. Looking forward to seeing you all back in 2013 refreshed, reinvigorated and ready for more adventures

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