The 2023 Tramping Calendar Haiku and Limerick Competition – Chapter 4

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    • #55791 Reply
      Tony Gazley

      Winchcombe Biv

      Tramping NZ

      Haiku and Limerick Competition

      by Harry Smith

      2023 Tramping NZ calendars now available at Bivouac Outdoor, Mercer Street
      $20 (cash only please)

      Chapter 4

      Competition rules

      All entries should be posted as comments to this forum post, so that everybody can read and enjoy them. Make sure to mention which month’s photo they refer to.

      You can enter as many limericks and haikus for as many of the monthly photos as you want.

      Entries close in mid-November and the winners will be announced at the beginning of December.

      The competition will be judged by Tony and Harry.

      The judges will take into account the following factors (among others) in making their decision
      – relevance to the photo
      – rhythm and rhyme (for a limerick)
      – rhythm, syllable count, concision, and precision (for a haiku)
      – humour, wit, cleverness, irony, sarcasm, etc (for a limerick)
      – mood, atmosphere, imagery, reflectiveness, and thoughtfulness (for a haiku).

      Bribes to the judges are permitted, and indeed encouraged, especially if they consist of money, tramping gear, camera gear, alcohol, or chocolate. There is no guarantee that they will have any influence on the judges’ decision, but it’s worth a try!

      The judges’ decision will be final, and no correspondence will be entered into (except if accompanied by a bribe, as described above).

      The First Place and Second Place winners will each receive a free copy of the calendar. These will look good proudly hanging on your wall.

      Other people can of course purchase copies of the calendar from Bivouac in Mercer Street, for $20 (cash only please). They will of course make excellent Christmas presents.

      The end.

      Calendar photos













      Calendar photos printed size 36 cm x 24 cm. A preview copy of the whole calendar is available at:

      • This topic was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Tony Gazley.
      • This topic was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Tony Gazley.
    • #55820 Reply
      Laramie Penstock

      You do not love the daylight –
      Now darkness threatens.

      My entry for July photo.
      Laramie (not yet a WTMC member)

    • #55893 Reply
      Laramie Penstock

      Here’s my next one – for the August calendar photo of Taranaki Maunga:

      There was a young tramper named Scott
      Who thought he was really sh*t hot
      But one day he tried
      To climb the south-facing side
      And he suddenly found that he’s not.

    • #55897 Reply

      In case anybody is wondering about Laramie’s reference to Mephistopheles, that’s the name of the peak which the July photo was taken from. You can see the labels of the photos by clicking on the link to the preview copy of the calendar above.

    • #55910 Reply
      Laramie Penstock

      And one for the February calendar photo:

      To get your name in this calendar blog
      You should climb to the top of Magog
      Then you’ll be the top dog
      And can start your own vlog
      But to get there will be a slog thru the bog.

      By Laramie.

    • #55928 Reply
      Laramie Penstock

      I keep dreaming about these damn limericks, and prob will until I’ve done one for every photo! So now here’s one for the September Winchcombe Biv.

      The door to the biv is so small
      Or maybe the tramper’s too tall
      So they won’t get inside
      However they tried
      Until they’re down on all fours and crawl.

      Now I’m trying not to think of the next one which only makes me think about the next one.

    • #55929 Reply
      Mr Trogg

      To get your name in this calendar blog
      You should climb to the top of Magog
      Then you’ll be the top dog
      And can start your own vlog
      But to get there will be a slog thru the bog.

      I protest! This is a clear case of plagiarism from my comment on the Gog and Magog story earlier in this forum! There I wrote:
      “An interesting log of a slog through the bog to climb Gog and Magog. I’m agog.” The similarity is unmistakable! My lawyer will be in touch!

      But anyway, I reckon this is better:

      Stewart Island has Gog and Magog.
      A trip there can be quite a slog.
      There’s a bog and a bog
      and a bog and a bog
      and a bog and a bog and a bog.

    • #55934 Reply
      Laramie Penstock

      Dear Mr Trogg

      With all due respect, anyone with a basic understanding of statistics would realise that there are limited grammatical combinations of ‘bog, Magog, agog and slog’ that are available for the construction of a limerick. Your claim is not plagiarism, but is rather an example of ‘cum hoc ergo propter hoc’, (i.e. a questionable-cause logical fallacy). No court would uphold your protest. So don’t bother with the lawyers.

      Kind Regards
      Laramie Penstock, Colonel WAAF (retd)

    • #55973 Reply
      Austin Healey

      Rather than compose a limerick for each of the photos I’m going to do one for the whole lot. So here goes:

      Tony’s photos of grand mountain views
      Are sure to cure week-a-day blues
      So go get one now
      Bivouac shows you how
      For 20 quid you’ve got nowt you can lose.


      • This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Tony Gazley.
    • #56174 Reply
      Misunderstood Cockney Heavy

      Nice one Mr Healey Guv. I reck’n that there lim’rk’s real quiche Lorraine. And I couldn’t ‘elp noticing that “quid”. You ain’t from the East End are you Guv? Or maybe up north somewhere wiv that “nowt”? Anyway, ‘ow do ya like smashin’ up vases? I reck’n Tony might be able to find a job for you in his organization if you’re interested.

      An’ that reminds me. I’ve come up wiv one of them ‘aiku things meself. It’s about Mr Gazley’s pretty calendar and it goes like this:

      A nice calendar –
      you can put it on the wall
      where them vases was.

    • #56677 Reply
      Lance Wood

      Hi Tony and Harry, here’s an entry for the May photo of the Rangipo Desert

      In this strange desert
      parched dunes look with envy at
      Ruapehu’s snows


      p.s. Misunderstood Cockney Heavy is great!

    • #56811 Reply
      Tony Gazley

      Good morning Lance

      Thank you very much for your haiku entry into the 2023 Tramping Calendar Haiku and Limerick Competition.
      We have been delighted with the high standard of the many entries we have received so far, and yours is no exception.

      However, we do remind you that copies of the 2023 Tramping NZ Calendar are readily available from Bivouac Outdoor in Mercer Street for $20 cash. You may wish to purchase your copies now to avoid disappointment when you fail to win first or second prize in the competition.

      Thanks again


    • #56822 Reply
      Misunderstood Cockney Heavy

      Why, thank you very much, Lance. That’s very kind of you – it’s real quiche Lorraine. An’ I reck’n that there ‘aiku of yours is real nice. Though I can’t ‘elp noticing that contrary to wot you say in the last line, there ain’t too much actual snow on that there mountain in that photo for May, but I guess that’s what they call Poetic Lie.

      You know wot, Squire? Wiv nice compliments like that, I reck’n you could actually win that free calendar in this here contest. I’ll just ‘ave a word wiv Mr Gazley an’ see wot we can do. Of course, it might ‘elp your chances if you slip us a nice bribe or two, like it says in them rules up above.

    • #56974 Reply
      Rangipo Red

      Give me the desert;
      away from the ski bunnies
      it’s a trampers’ land.

              - Rangipo Red
    • #57016 Reply
      Marsha Mellow

      A landscape of ash
      harsh and beautifully wild.


    • #57284 Reply
      Rino Tukino

      No crowded ski-fields –
      the wild side of the mountain
      is untamed country

    • #57339 Reply
      Tony Gazley

      When doors are stuck shut
      Sarah does not wait about-
      kick kick kick kick kick

    • #57447 Reply

      Winter snows arrive –
      trampers head to cosy huts
      high in the mountains

    • #57503 Reply

      That’s a very nice haiku from Mary. It shows all the characteristics of a classical haiku – there are three lines with a 5,7,5 structure, it’s nice and concise, there’s a kigo or “season word” (winter) and a kireji or “cut” (where the hyphen is), and there’s possibly even a slight hint of a symbolic meaning. In fact, it reminds me of the following haiku from the great Japanese haiku master Matsuo Bashō (1644 – 1694):

      Autumn approaches –
      heart dreams
      of four-mat rooms

      So it’s an excellent entry. Well done, Mary. But there’s still lots of time for other people to get entries in before the contest closes next month. There are still several photos that we haven’t had any entries at all for yet!

    • #57526 Reply
      The Sahara Desert

      Pah! I spit on thee,
      puny pip-squeak Rangipo,
      thou pretend desert!

      The Sahara

    • #57606 Reply
      Lake Taupo

      But you don’t have mates
      Warriors who rule with fear
      Fire smoke and brimstone.

    • #57624 Reply
      Rangipo Desert

      Sahara Desert,
      you’re very rude and nasty,
      and quite ill-mannered.

    • #57653 Reply

      Here’s a haiku about the December photo (Above Douglas River Westland National Park)

      Sunny camp today –
      creeping bands of cloud conceal
      tomorrow’s valleys

    • #60430 Reply
      Lance Wood

      To follow on from Mary’s haiku, here is another one about the December photo:

      High mountain campsite –
      floating magic carpet ride
      above cotton clouds

    • #61010 Reply

      And here’s another one about the December photo

      Up high I wonder
      what it’s like in the valley –
      and vice versa.

    • #61200 Reply

      This is a limerick about the November photo of Okarito Lagoon

      Okarito Lagoon on the Coast
      has the kotuku as its proud boast.
      I’m sure Tony’s rearin’
      to bag a white heron
      (for a photograph, not for a roast!)

    • #61256 Reply

      That’s a nice limerick from Mark – we haven’t had one for a while.

      This competition will be closing soon, so if you’ve got any last-minute entries, get them in in the next few days. Just think – you could be the proud winner of one of Tony’s superb calendars – a perfect Christmas present!


    • #61395 Reply
      Mr Trogg

      Another one for the November photo

      Okarito Lagoon with a boat
      aground on the sand, not afloat.
      Tony’s off in a clearin’
      to photo a heron –
      a good shot would float Tony’s boat!

    • #61445 Reply

      Calm days and blue skies –
      soon they will have flown away
      like the white heron

    • #61544 Reply
      Lance Wood

      This is for the January photo

      Brooding volcanoes
      rear up shoulder to shoulder –
      flesh wounds on the earth.

    • #62420 Reply
      Holly Wood

      My brother Lance sent in a Haiku for the January 2023 Tramping NZ Calendar (which I have just bought a copy at Bivouac for $20 cash) and I thought I would respond with one of my own. But because I couldn’t write a Haiku to save myself I got ChatGBT to do one for me:

      Majestic volcanoes
      Side by side, in silence
      Nature’s power reigns.

      Not too shabby. And it also wrote a limerick for the December photo:

      Two campers on a mountain height,
      Watched the sunset in its full might,
      With the view so clear and bright,
      They felt a sense of delight,
      As they watched day turn into night.

      Pity I’m a bit late for any prizes – no-one would have needed to know a heap of dumb computer chips did the job and not me.


    • #62471 Reply

      Well, I can truly say with all my might
      that that “limerick” gave me a terrible fright.
      I think even if ChatGPT had the power of kryptonite
      it would never succeed in being completely erudite.
      “Dumb computer chips” doesn’t even begin to describe it – it feels like something beamed down from an alien telecommunications satellite.
      I think I can truly say that I would never have awarded it a prize in the competition even if I had been completely inebriated, tipsy, tanked, hammered, plastered, pissed, sloshed, shickered, sozzled, stewed, rat-arsed, wasted, or tight.
      While perhaps not actually something William McGonnagall might write,
      it’s very greeting-card-lite.

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